Obsession with perfect sex turns partners off

Couples often put so much pressure on themselves to have “amazing sex” that they end up avoiding it altogether, according to a survey.

Relate, a relationship charity, said that many couples did not stop to consider what was actually good about their sex lives.

It said couples often claim they want to bring the spontaneity back, but sex is rarely truly spontaneous and sometimes people have to plan for intimacy.

The charity recommends that couples should not shy away from planning sex or kissing and cuddling in front of their children.

In the past, parents were often taught to avoid showing physical affection in front of the children but it is actually reassuring for them to see their parents love one another.

Cate Campbell, a psychosexual therapist and lecturer at the Relate Institute, said: “It’s sad that so few people are sexually satisfied and put pressure on themselves to perform. Noticing what is going well, rather than dwelling on problems, is quite difficult when we’re all bombarded with messages about how sex ought to be.

“Sex definitely doesn’t have to be disappointing – there’s plenty that can turn your situation around so you can enjoy a fulfilling sex life.

“What constitutes a satisfying sex life can vary wildly from one person to the next, so working out what makes you tick is a great starting point. People may feel concerned if they haven’t had sex in the past month but there are plenty of other ways to be sexy that don’t involve full intercourse.”



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